So close yet always so far away
by princess of Las Noches
Summary: 17 months after the Winter War, Orihime wakes up from an awful dream and believes to still be dreaming. But what happens afterwards is too good to have not happened. Was it really a dream at all? summaries are SOOO hard to do ON HAITUS INDEFFINATELY! MAY DELETE!
1. Chapter 1

_I own absolutely nothing except this story. The all mighty Tite Kubo owns bleach, Ulquiorra and Orihime. Believe me, if i owned it, there would be A LOT of satisfied ulquihime fans. (*cough* and ichigo haters *cough*) So, even though i don"t own Bleach, *cries for a minute* ahem,...i am proud to give the span of my insanity. hope you like!~  
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_"So Close… Yet Always So Far Away..." _

Summary: 17 months after the winter war, Orihime wakes up from a horrible, recurring dream she cannot stop. But what happens when that nightmare allows her to have a secret dream whenever she pleases? With the very person she misses the most having conversations with her as if he were actually there? And what about what happens after she wakes up every time she has it? (Go ahead and kill me, but summaries are WAAAAAYYYY harder than they look!)

_"Turn the lights off in this place, and she shines just like a star…_

_Turn the music up in here, I still hear her loud and clear…_

_Like she's right there in my ear…_

_I just can't pull myself away._

_Under a spell I can't break…_

_She's the sweetest taste of sin…_

_The more I get, the more I want…"_

_~Ne-Yo "Closer"_

CHAPTER 1

_His wing continued to fade as he stood still, unable to believe Ichigo's decision to not finish him off. "…And here I was finally… starting to find you guys a little interesting…" he said calmly, not really to anyone in particular, but unmistakably looking at me._

_His eyes were clear, yet emotionless. No. That was a lie. They were brimming with so many things. My stomach ached painfully as I stared into their deep, emerald pools. How strange though. Ichigo and Uryu, neither seemed to notice how his eyes burned with a green flame. Why not? Was it only me then? _

_Slowly, he raised his hand to me, reaching out. I stared, shocked slightly at his blunt action. Never before had he done such a thing._

_"…Are you scared of me…Onna?" he said softly, his eyes not even flinching away, trying to keep my gaze. _

_So many things raced through my mind as he said that. Scared? Of him? Why would he ask such a thing of me? I looked into those intoxicatingly green eyes, searching for a reason why he would feel I did._

_All I saw in them was a reflection of so many different things. Confusion, agitation, pain, slight fear, sadness, regret. But most of all, was the regret. The way his eyes shown with it made me feel as if I'd drown in it's depths. I felt my eyes burning as I looked at him, the tears threatening to come, but for some reason, they did not. I suddenly felt tired and weak. I wanted to say so much to him, to run to him and throw my arms around him, to stop what I knew would happen soon enough, but I could not will my body to move._

_I stared back into his sorrowful eyes, trying to let him see exactly what I could not voice. His eyes darkened somewhat as he continued to look into mine. I tried to force my voice to work, force myself to ignore the immense pain beginning to grow in my chest as I stared into that drowning shade of emerald. There was only one thing I could speak though. _

_"I'm not scared…" that was all. I felt like slapping myself for not saying something different, for not doing anything else. His eyes slid shut slightly, the lids covering most of that brilliant fire I saw. _

_"…I see…" he said softly. I saw the confusion grow in his eyes, but I also saw something I had not seen before. If I had not been looking at this particular espada, I would have thought it would be love. The idea made my chest constrict painfully. No. Even if I was looking at this espada, I could tell it wasn't love. It was close though. Oh, so close. I could see the confusion mixing with it as he held my gaze possessively. He was aware I could see it. He was trying to show me how confused he was about it. Even he didn't know what it was he was feeling. _

_I could feel the pain in my chest thrumming against my throat as I saw his confusion and fear at what he was feeling, and the anger of not realizing what it was. I could see the sorrow and regret of not being able to know of it sooner and for causing me so many difficulties and such pain. So many things he was showing, yet he was familiar with none of it. _

_I saw more and more of his body fading away, his body slowly turning to black ash, blowing away in the wind. I felt the fear growing in my body, climbing up my throat, choking me. I looked at his outstretched hand, still reaching towards me. I wanted him to understand I knew what he was feeling, that I did not care about anything else but this. _

_My fingers searched the empty air as I tried to grab his hand. As I wrapped my hand around his, I felt nothing solid. Instead, I watched as his pale white skin turned to that dreadful black ash. I felt it slip through my fingers as I tried once more to grab him, but failed yet again, his entire arm disintegrating as I reached forward. I looked into his eyes, horrified at what was happening in front of me, yet his eyes showed no fear. Instead they held a calm sense of sadness and regret. He looked away as the last of his body faded into nothing. _

_He was gone. _

_Not a single shred of his existence was left. All I saw was black clouds fading farther and farther away. I closed my eyes tightly as I fought off the panic. I failed at that as well. My mind felt as if it was cracking open. I tightened my hand around the soft ash in my hand. His hand. I held his hand in mine. I brought my hands together to cup around the last fragment of the espada I had. The pain in my chest continued to grow as the panic continued to rack my sanity. Suddenly, a great gust of wind hit me from the direction it had been carrying the fallen espada, blowing my hair away. I closed my eyes to block the sand as it blew in my face, cascading across my cheeks and lips and neck. After a few moments, it ceased. _

_I looked down to see my hands empty. And my clothes covered in black. My stomach dropped as I realized I had not been hit with sand._

_The wind had blown him back towards me. Slowly, I raised my trembling fingers to my cheek, brushing against it. When I pulled it away it was tinted in a black smear. I did the same to my lips. The exact same result. The tears finally fell down my cheeks, cascading to mix with the blackened dust. I rubbed my lips together, relishing the feel of the ash on them as I fell to my knees, sobbing brokenly as my sanity left me. Even after he had disappeared, he had been the one to steal my lips…_

I shot up in my bed, the tears falling like a waterfall. I felt the pain even now, tightening around my heart torturously. Heart. I remember he had been so confused with that word, not being able to understand my feelings toward the concept. The very thought of him brought more tears to my eyes, and all I could do was cry.

It had been over seventeen months since the incident, over a year and five months, and yet I was still so broken over what had happened that day in Hueco Mundo atop the dome. He had fought so desperately, so determined, despite the fact that Aizen had no use of me at that point. To this day I still had no idea why he did so. The same with how he had acted. He had not wanted ichigo to take me away from Hueco Mundo.

I continued to cry, unable to stop as all the memories of almost a year and a half before returned. I just wanted to see him again. It was a sinful thing to think, especially after my friends had risked their lives to save me, but it was true. I missed the stoic, calm, emotionless espada. The way he would talk, the way he would act, and even the slight little flaws I'd notice about him every now and then. I missed them all. To hear his voice once more, to be able to finally close my hand around his like I'd wished, was all I wanted. I even wanted to hear him call me "Onna" again, despite how I had hated it before. Now that time had passed, and all I had now were the memories, I had come to realize the significance of that word. Replaying his voice in my mind over and over each day, so I would not forget it, had made me notice how he had said it. It was the only word he had regularly used that had emotion in it. It had been his way of addressing me, almost like a loving pet name you used towards only one, like "sweetie pie" or "pumpkin". The thought of it being his way of showing emotion towards me always made me blush.

The tears would not stop. I kept clutching at my heart, hoping the pain would either subside soon, or be strong enough to knock me out. Why was it even Ichigo couldn't hurt me this much? This wasn't even really his fault; it was just my emotions in disarray. I was shuddering now, my back arching painfully as my body was racked over and over. I just wanted the pain to disappear already…

"This is the fourth night this week. This is not the only time this has happened either. Now, would you mind explaining to me what it is that has upset you so greatly, Onna?"

My heart stopped. I didn't even know what to think, what to do. That voice. That name. It hit me as if I'd been slapped across the face. I couldn't move. Even my tears had stopped, unsure whether to continue or to disappear. I stayed frozen on my bed, my arms still wrapped around my legs, my head on my knees. My eyes were open as wide as they would go, my heart jack-hammering in my chest.

I couldn't believe I had heard it. It was impossible. I had to have imagined it. Yet, despite these thoughts, my ears still searched the silence, waiting for the slightest noise. My breathing was the only thing in the room, erratic and raspy.

I waited for something, anything to make a noise, my mind silently screaming for it to be true and false at the same time.

"…I am addressing you, Onna. Why do you not answer?"

I stiffened automatically, my body shivering at the familiar memories. Yet my memories had never given justice. The voice was just as deep and breathy, yet strong and enchanting as it had been then.

"…Onna… Do you not understand you are being spoken to and are expected to reply?" came the voice, calm on the surface, yet laced with agitation. Only someone who had known him as well as I would know how to note his dangerous undertones.

The air felt thick, heavy, making it ever harder to breathe. My chest heaved as I tried to calm my racing heart. My mind was split in two. One was silently begging it all to be a dream. The other was fighting the urge to gag and tie up the other, wanting desperately for this all to be true and real. I of course was trapped between.

Suddenly a single sound penetrated the thick silence and caught my attention. The sound of fabric folding over itself as someone moves slightly. It was like he was getting annoyed. Impatient even. But there was no way this was real, right?

"…It seems you are not going to acknowledge that I am here. Very well…" I heard footsteps. Soft, slow steps that drifted to me on a whim. They walked out of my room. My head shot up. My bedroom door was open, even though I always shut it every night. My heart jumped out of my chest.

"…-ra…." I rasped brokenly. I tried again, my hands quickly ripping the blankets off me as I struggled out of bed. "Ulq-….-a…!" my voice wouldn't come out right as I ran out of my room, my ears being deafened by the pounding in my head. I ran to my kitchen and stopped, dead in my tracks. In my living room was the one person I thought I'd never see again. His hand was in the air, a hole having been literally torn there. A garganta. He was about to leave. Again. No. No! He couldn't! I felt my eyes widen as I saw this. I acted before I even registered what I was going to do.

"Don't!" I screamed. I didn't know why I said it, but I did. I didn't want him leaving. Now or ever. Not again. He couldn't leave me again…

Slowly, he turned around. I felt my breath stop in my throat, but didn't register it in my mind. Those eyes. How I had missed those eyes. Dark, deep emerald, so beautiful and deadly, almost enough to paralyze you. He stared back intently, not even trying to look away from me. I couldn't' even think of what to do. I was too shocked at seeing him here. My head was spinning, I felt dizzy…

"Onna…." He said softly, nodding once. It was an acknowledgement, not a question or statement. It was really him…

"…Ul….-quiorra…." I whispered before my vision blurred. The last thing I registered was his beautiful eyes widening in shock as my knees buckled beneath me, the floor coming closer, then black.

**A/N**

Hey, new here unless you already knew that from my profile. In which case i'd say "how many time do i have to tell you freaks to stop f***ing stalking me!" JK! JK! HAHA! (you'll find i'm a little wierd at time... o.O')

Ulquiorra: "a little? You are kidding right?"

me: SHADDUP!

Ulquiorra: "see?"

...ok, just ignore my useless bantering...review please! hope you like!


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: **i own absolutely nothing. sadly….

CHAPTER 2

I woke up in my bed, my covers pulled tightly around me. I was dizzy and confused. I didn't even remember what had happened to me…. suddenly I sat up, everything whooshing right back at once. The dream I had (again), waking up and crying (again), and then hearing _his _voice,seeing _him _in my living room_, _then fainting from the shock.

I suddenly felt dizzy again, having sat up far too quickly. I was such an airhead sometimes…

"You should try to be more cautious. You fainted and nearly struck your head on a table. I had to carry you back to your room." A voice said calmly

I gasped, snapping my attention to the corner of my room. Sitting there by the window, was Ulquiorra. He was reading what looked to be one of my horror novels from my book collection. Figures. My mind wandered away from me for a minute as I wondered how long he'd been sitting there reading. He looked like he was a good portion into the book, maybe about a fifth of the way in… Suddenly the situation really hit me. Ulquiorra was here. In my room. ALIVE. And in my room. My room…

I felt my face heat up as that thought hit me. A boy was in my room in the middle of the night with no one else in the house…. Ok, a former arrancar espada that could kill with the flick of his wrist (or even his finger. He did have that whole cero thing that came out of his fingertips….) and feel no remorse over it. But he's still a guy ok! While I was freaking out in my head, he must have noted the change in my attitude because he looked up from the book, (which I had noticed as my Stephen King novel, The Shining.)

"Is there something troubling you, Onna?" he asked, not even blinking. He was sitting in front of the window in such a way, that the moon illuminated his ivory skin, making him nearly glow, while shrouding his face in a dark shadow. His eyes shown brighter than ever in the dark room.

"...How are you here…?" I said after a moment. I was so confused and the pain from before was starting to return. My eyes were beginning to sting as I looked at him. He sat down the book on the windowsill and stood up, walking slowly over to my bed. I subconsciously locked away every detail of his movements and habits away safely. He came to stop at the foot of my bed reaching a hand out to rest it on my footboard. For the first time that night, he did not meet my eyes. And he did not answer my question. A deep feeling of dread filled my stomach as he continued to stay silent.

"…Your not really here…" I whispered, almost inaudibly. I felt the tears filling my eyes, and knew I would cry very soon. Ulquiorra continued to stay quiet, neither refuting nor ratifying my statement. For the first time in my life, I felt truly stupid. I admit to being an airhead, and I am quite prone to innocent mistakes, but I am actually very smart. Not many people know that I have placed third smartest in my entire class. But now, I felt like a complete idiot. Even if this weren't a dream (yes, I have accepted this as a dream) I would feel like an idiot. How could I believe wholly and truly that Ulquiorra had been here? I was such a fool…

The tears fell silently down my cheeks, blurring my vision behind a screen as I stared at my blanket. Suddenly I felt a cool hand touch my left cheek lightly, gently. I looked up and saw Ulquiorra looking intently at my tears. He had his left hand in his pocket, using his right one to trace the tears. He looked to be scrutinizing them closely.

"Tears are unbecoming of you. Onna. Personally, if I may be so direct in saying so, I prefer when you're smiling. You have a beautiful smile…" he said softly. I felt my face burn as I blushed maddeningly. What was he saying? How could he say that to me? The Ulquiorra I had known would never have said such a thing so frankly.

Suddenly the tears started coming faster, shocking both of us. He sat down slowly on the edge of the bed, moving his other hand from his pocket. He cupped my face gently in his hands, brushing away the tears as quickly as they came. A broken sob came from my throat, then another and another. Before I knew it, I was crying my eyes out into his chest, grasping onto his jacket for dear life. He made no move to remove me, instead deciding to wrap an arm around my back, soothing me by rubbing my head and playing with my hair. He said no sweet words, made no attempt at calming me. He just allowed me to soak his clothing as I sobbed out all my pain and sorrow, knowing that was the best cure for my heart.

I buried my face into his shoulder, tightening my grip as I held him close. He felt so solid in my hands, so warm… so real. The thought only made my heart ache more. He wasn't back. He wasn't alive and here in my arms like I so desperately wanted to believe. But… why did I want him to be here to begin with? I couldn't think of an answer.

"Are you finally calm now, Onna? Your tears seem to have finally ceased." He asked, no emotion in his voice. Just like before... I suddenly realized he was right. My tears had almost stopped, only a few escaping every few moments.

"…yeah… I'm fine now, I think…" I whispered into his collarbone, not lifting my head to meet his cold eyes. I didn't want him to let go of me, not now…

"I see. That's fortunate." He said softly into my hair, not loosening his arms from around my body. I prayed he wouldn't.

"Don't you think you should be getting your rest, Onna? It's late, and your eyes are far too dark. You seem as if you have not slept in a great time." He said, and I could just barely catch the concern coursing beneath his careful words.

"No, I'm fine, really…" I said, doing my best to fake a cheerful atmosphere. I even smiled a bit, but I could tell by how he stiffened slightly that he knew it was more forced than genuine. He had always been able to piece together my actions and words, had been able to decipher how I was feeling. I felt his body relax a fraction as he continued to think. I couldn't see his face, and for that I was thankful. I didn't want to see those eyes as they picked through my attitude and action

"…Why do you not wish to sleep? I know you are tired, I can hear it in your voice. I don't understand why you deny it so greatly. You should be able to rest, but you seem unable to do so…why is that?" he questioned me, not loosening his arms, his hand still playing softly with a few strands of my auburn hair.

I felt more tired than I'd felt in a long time. As usual, he was dead center on his accusations, and as usual, he knew it. I couldn't tell him about the dream. It would only make me cry again, and I'd already burdened him enough with my lack of any emotional control.

"…I have the feeling your not going to explain yourself to me… very well, I will not trouble you if you do not wish to speak to me of it. Despite this, you still need rest, Onna. You have not had sufficient sleep for a long time, most likely because of the dream you are continuously having… though I still have yet to know what it is that makes you so upset after awakening from it…" he drawled. My heart skipped a beat at his observation. How did he know?

"I-I'm a little tired I guess…" I chirped innocently, trying to change subject. I couldn't talk about that right now…

"…I see…" he said slowly before pulling his face away from my head. He let go of me and stood up. " I'll leave so you can rest than." He said as he raised a hand to rip open the air. I immediately panicked. It was almost instinct, impulsive. I jumped from my bed and wrapped my arms around him from behind, locking my hands around my wrists tightly, enclosing him. I knew if he wished he could throw me aside or through a wall with no difficulty but I didn't care. I wanted him to stay.

"Please, no! Don't leave me again! I can't bare it!" I yelled into his back. I started shaking into his body, my body convulsing painfully. He stiffened in my grip, no other reaction apparent. I didn't care. I was too scared of never seeing him again, of never hearing his voice. Of never holding his body to mine like this. Suddenly his cold hands grasped mine like iron fetters, almost prying them from my wrists, as I would not let go. He turned around, one of his hands holding mine tightly, as if frightened of letting go, threatening anything to try and make him release my hand.

"Onna…" he said as he tightened his grip on my hand. I returned it almost greedily. I looked up into those eyes, losing myself in the endless sea of emotions that shown there.

"…Stay… please…" I whispered, my voice shaking slightly. I couldn't look away as I silently pleaded with my eyes. Could he read my eyes like I could his?

"…Alright…" he said so softly, I had to strain to hear. My heart skipped once again as he walked past me, leading me back to my bed, never releasing my hand. I then realized that my head was spinning, I felt immensely dizzy.

"…You still need to rest Onna. I'll stay right here, but you need to sleep." He commanded as he stopped and let go of my hand. He gently placed his hands on my shoulders and nudged me onto my bed. I lay down obediently and he covered me up gently, but as he pulled away I gripped his hand once more. He looked down at me, slight confusion etching into his expression.

"What is it?" he asked patiently, not seeming to mind that I was being a terrible bother. I bit my lip painfully as I glanced away shyly, feeling a blush creep it's way across my cheeks.

"…Can you…lie with me? Please?" I asked so softly I half hoped he wouldn't hear. Almost unfortunately, he did because the shock was nearly slapped across his face as he looked at me. I hid my face as I blushed deeper. I couldn't believe I'd just asked that. What was wrong with me?

Suddenly Ulquiorra's hand left mine, and I looked up to see him walking away from me. What had I just done? I almost screamed as he walked around the edge of my bed, almost begged him to forgive me. Then I saw him stop on the other side of my bed. Before I knew what he was doing, he had removed his sandals and kneeled onto my bed. He smoothed over my comforter and lay on top, obviously giving me a little space instead of slipping underneath it with me.

As I looked into his eyes, he laid on his right side, facing me, the broken helmet-like mask sticking up in the air. I felt my breathing return to normal as he relaxed into my mattress. I watched as his green orbs slowly became hidden, his eyelids drooping slightly. Ulquiorra was tired as well. The idea seemed somewhat humorous but I was too sleepy to laugh at it. Instead I turned onto my left side, facing him as well. I reached out my hand, lacing the fingers with his and moved my head closer to rest on the edge of my pillow. He did the same, tightening his fingers around mine. I sighed contentedly as I closed my eyes, my body filled with bliss.

"Rest now, Onna. I'll stay right here." He promised silently, his voice ghosting to me in the dark. I did as I was told, unconsciously snuggling closer to him. He made no complaints as he rested his forehead against the top of my head, instead letting his body become lax and comfortable.

"…Goodnight, Ulquiorra…" I whispered dreamily, my mind already drifting off as I rested my face against the crook of his neck. I gripped his jacket lazily, holding him to my body. He wrapped an arm around my waist once more, almost as if he couldn't move. He was almost asleep as well.

"Goodnight Onna… sleep well…" he whispered into my hair, his voice thick with sleep already. I felt my heart swell as he returned my little comment. I was so happy; I never wanted this moment to end. But of course it would, and I knew it. It was the sad truth, and I could not deny it. Despite this, I was full of euphoria. And even though I never would have thought I'd fall asleep holding hands with the very arrancar that had abducted, tortured and finally died in an attempt to keep me from my friends… that was exactly what I did that night. And I had never felt so content.

A/N:

I am not satisfied with this as much as i should be, but it was the best i could come up with, so… Review Please! Hopefully i can make Ulquiorra emotionless enough (i failed in this one.) It;s a dream though, (wink wink) so i could go a little ooc…. i'm blabbering again…

Ulquiorra: "Indeed, now cease and stop corroding these human's minds."

Me: orihime! come get your boyfriend!

Ulquiorra: *hits me over the head* "silence."

Me: ow! Hey, no need to be so rude!

Orihime: Ulquiorra, be nice!

Ulquiorra: "…"

Me: ohhhhh! whipped!

Ulquiorra: *hits me again. HARD.* "I said silence, trash."

Me: oh, did i hit a nerve Ulqui? heh-heh!

Ulquiorra: "…"

Me: o.o' oh, god no please! don"t i'm begging you! w-wait!

review please, and hopefully i'm not dead, so i can continue! Ulquiorra back off already! i said sorry! argh-*dead*


	3. Chapter 3

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ i do not own Bleach, b/c if i did, ULQUI-KUN WOULD BE ALIVE!

CHAPTER 3

I woke up the next morning feeling lighter than air. I just lay in bed for a long time, filled with such a euphoric attitude I couldn't even will my body to move. Of coarse my bed was empty, not even holding any warmth to make me believe last night had been more than a dream, but my body held such a sense of happiness, I didn't care. I could still feel his cool skin under my fingers, could still hear his velvet voice calling to me. I could even still feel his arms wrapped around me as he fell asleep in my own, lazily playing with my hair.

I felt my lips slowly twist upwards, a smile finding it's way to my glowing face. I couldn't help it, I just wanted to stay there and relish the feelings of satisfaction. And I wanted to see him again. More than anything.

"Ulquiorra…" I said, my voice heavy with ecstasy. I was so happy…

Suddenly my phone rang, roughly yanking me from my bliss. I rolled over, grabbing my cell phone from my nightstand. After checking the caller ID, I answered it, noticing it as Tatsuki's. I was immediately met with the voice of my tom-boy best friend shrieking into my ear.

"ORIHIME! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!" she yelled into my ear. I winced away from the phone at the octave she could reach before slowly putting the speaker back to my ear, hesitant at answering.

"…U-um, I'm at my… house…?" I answered softly, afraid of saying it, though not completely sure why.

"YOUR HOUSE! DO YOU REALISE WHAT TIME IT IS! GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR AND GET DOWN HERE! YOUR LATE FOR SCHOOL!" she shrilled into my ear, her voice almost reaching hysteria. Mine joined hers instantly.

"WH-WHA! H-HANG ON, I'M GETTING READY NOW!" I screamed into the receiver, jumping up immediately. I slammed my phone shut before Tatsuki could respond, grabbing my uniform out of my closet and slipping it on before grabbing my brush. I ran to the window to open the curtains before stopping dead in my tracks.

The curtains were already open. And what I saw in front of them paralyzed me.

On the window sill, sitting on the pages to keep the reader's page…

My Stephen King novel. The Shining.

The one Ulquiorra had been reading in my dream…

I felt the brush fall from my hand, but I didn't completely register it as it clattered at my feet. I stared at the book as if it were a diseased zombie. My body started shivering as I looked at it closely.

The book looked to be stopped about a fifth of the way through. Exactly where he had been when he'd set it down last night. It was even in the same position. I should have been terrified. I probably should have screamed or called the police or searched for an intruder. But none of that even crossed my mind. I was too busy thinking that what had happened last night had really happened.

I couldn't stop believing that I had really spent the night wrapped securely in Ulquiorra Schiffer's arms. The thought that it had all been true scared me, yet made me want to beg on my knees for it to have been real. I was completely transfixed to that spot. So scared to hope. So hopeful it scared me. I didn't even feel my phone vibrating in my hand…

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU!" Tatsuki screeched at me as I ran into the classroom, just barely before the bell. I ran to my desk as fast as I could as she whacked me upside the head for being late.

"I'msorry-I'msorry-I'msorry-I'msorry-I'msorry-I'msorry-I'msorry-I'msorry-I'msorry!" I whined half-heartedly, trying not to laugh at Tatsuki's expression. Before she could mock-punish me for that too, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my ribs, trying to grip my chest. Before they succeeded however, an arm flashed past my face and I heard it connect with something behind my head. I glanced back slightly, not at all surprised to see Chizuru's face caved in under Tatsuki's fist.

"Get your damn hormones under control already! Every day it's the same god damn thing! Honestly, I almost get tired of hitting you every time you try to molest Orihime!" she growled out, her face filled with agitation. I heard Chizuru say something but it was too muffled for me to understand. Suddenly our teacher walked in, telling us to get to our seats and open our textbooks to page 64, causing everyone to scatter like cockroaches.

"See you later then, hime-chan!" Chizuru said as she went to her desk, Tatsuki throwing daggers with her eyes as she walked to hers as well. The day passed by pretty uneventfully, as usual. Ichigo close-lining Keigo every chance he was given, Tatsuki attempting to knock out Chizuru when she tried something obsene on me, Rukia playing her "good-girl" school girl act and messing around with Ichigo when given the opportunity. As I watched the day pass, I saw how much repetition was in every moment.

My mind frequently wandered to another world as I watched the familiar scenes passing. A world completely clad in white and black. No colors existed there. No, not entirely. There were colors, but only little ones. Like green eyes or teal lines. There, things were repetitious, yes, but not in the way they were here. Memories of each day I had spent in that desolate, dreary, black and white world came back full force. I hadn't thought this much of that world since just after I had been brought back to this one.

"Hime-chan, you're crying!" Chizuru cried out as we ate our lunch under our usual tree. Everyone turned to look at me, concern etching their expressions. I looked at them confused before fully registering what she had said. I reached a hand up to touch my cheek and pulled it away, seeing it glistening in the sun.

"If your so upset about something, let me cheer you up! I know a great way to relieve any feelings of stress and-!" I stared blankly as Tatsuki kicked Chizuru out of the air where she had leapt forward at me.

"How many times do I have to say it!" she said angrily. I just watched them, not really seeing or hearing them. I was imagining how Ulquiorra would have acted had he seen me crying for no reason whatsoever.

_"Onna, cease your useless sniveling. There is no reason for you to be acting as such, so I suggest you discontinue." _he would command, not even blinking as he spoke icily and clearly.

The entire day passed by as if in a blur. It didn't pass slowly or quickly. I just wasn't aware on any time until everyone was walking home. I walked home by myself, my mind far from easy. Or the present. I had been trapped in my memory-version of the white, sandy world of Hueco Mundo the entire day. And only one person vacated the hollow realm. The one person I wanted to hold and be held by as I had been last night. I had no idea on how to do so though.

I walked into my apartment, my body heavy and withered. I was suddenly filled with such a sense lethargy and weariness I could hardly stand. I went straight to my room, shutting the blinds, not even touching the book on the windowsill. I laid down and fell asleep almost immediately, my last coherent thought being only one thing.

Was I ever going to see Ulquiorra again? Or was I slowly losing my sanity?

That's when I heard someone walk through my bedroom door.

**A/N:**

I like this one. Not as much as i wanted it to be, but i like it. Can anyone guess what happen's next? *waggles eyebrows*

Ulquiorra: "your sanity is slowly receding from you..."

Me: so?

Ulquiorra: "...i could bring up the fact that you do not deny, but i doubt you would even refute my claims..."

Me: your right about that Emo-sama! i know i'm insane! that's why i'm so likable! so meh!

Ulquiorra: "...i'm not even going to respond to that claim..."

i've noticed this is becoming routine... my poor poor mind. Ulquiorra is right too... as usual. damn. oh well! review please! love ya!


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Me: WHAT IN THE NAME OF LORD F***ING AIZEN AM I GOING TO WRITE NOW!

Ulqui-kun: "how about how you are useless trash who should cease speaking of Lord Aizen In such a manner?"

Me: or I could just have you screw Hime-chan, I mean your "woman", into her mattress all night… (actually debating this too. That's what's sad…)

Ulqui-kun: *hits me upside the head. HARD* "SILENCE."

Me: is it just me or am I sencing a hint of embarrassment? Eh, ulqui?

Ulqui-kun: *hits me again. Much harder.* "it's your overly-active imagination trash."

Me: if you say so….

Ulqui-kun: *SMACK*

Me: OW! That's it! i'm going with the mattress bit! *starts typing*

Ulqui-kun: *ceros me* trash...

**_HELP ME WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER! OR ULQUIORRA WILL KILL ME! (IN WHICH CASE THIS STORY WILL NEVER BE CONTINUED AND NO ONE WILL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER HIME-CHAN WAKES UP TO A SPECIAL SURPRISE! ALSO, THE NEXT CHAPTER IS ANOTHER "IS IT A DREAM OR NOT" I KNOW WHETHER IT'S GOING TO BE A DREAM OR NOT, AND IT'S A SURPRISE!)_**


End file.
